A Midsummer Night's Dream ...of some funny shit.

My name is Patrick ,I'm from Canada and live with polar bears and hipsters . Before The Internet , I had to write my shit on restroom stalls.

thelittlestagemanager:

dudedevon:

spectralpinecone:

xstephaniejarax:

play this at my wedding or funeral I don’t care where but just plAY IT

I reblog this a lot but it gives me chills every time i hear it

Was this Twenty-One Pilots? Definitely sounds like it.

This has cycled through my blog like 4 times now and I’ll continue to reblog it every time

(via humoristics)

shakespeareondrugs:

“I saw life branching out before me, like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a wife and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet, and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantine and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn’t quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn’t make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black. One by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.”

different types of drunks

kushandwizdom:

gamegrrl:

1. Party Drunk:

  • will talk to anyone and everyone
  • only does shots
  • has to literally be dragged home at the end of the night because they refuse to acknowledge that the party has ended and they’re the only person still there

2. Blissful Drunk

  • does nothing but laugh
  • just happy to be included
  • too good for this world
  • loves you so much even though they just met you four minutes ago
  • probably also does acid

3. Emotional Drunk

  • not great at parties
  • is either crying tears of sorrow bc there’s no chips left or crying tears of gratitude bc someone showed them where the bathroom is
  • brings out everyone’s inner mother

4. Parent Drunk

  • keeps everyone’s shit together
  • everyone thinks they’re sober but they’ve actually had 5 shots in an hour
  • knows when u need to go home and will make sure you get there
  • holds back your hair when you’re vomiting at 3am

5. Slutty Drunk

  • never gets cold
  • makeup never smudges
  • never has to buy their own drinks
  • you think they’re sloppy and have no idea what they’re doing but every move is calculated and intentional

6. Sloppy Drunk

  • wasted by 10pm
  • needs to be taken home early
  • will drink anything you give them as long as there’s alcohol in it
  • a Mess
  • never learns from their mistakes

Parent drunk lol

(via kushandwizdom)